Many of us study grammar for years and understand everything, yet freeze up when we need to reply at a shop or during a meeting. Michal Suchozebrski, co-founder of the Together language school and moderator of speaking clubs, explains whether there are "lucky ones" for whom language comes easier, if a glass of wine actually helps you speak, and why talking to yourself is perfectly normal. Plus, at the end—hacks to finally break your "language lock."
"Wake me up at night and I’ll recite Past Perfect Continuous, but in a restaurant, I just point at the menu"
Sound familiar? Many of us have studied foreign languages for years. We diligently pored over grammar and memorized articles. If awakened in the middle of the night, we could likely conjugate "to be" without a hitch or recall the formula for some incredibly complex tense. Yet, in real life, we often can't even manage to order a cutlet at a café.
At Together school, we see that this isn't just a local quirk. International students from a variety of countries—from Italy to Ukraine and Belarus—tell similar stories. For a long time, schools worldwide emphasized ticking the right boxes in tests. We were taught to perfectly insert much and many into exercises, but we lacked the practice to use language as a living tool.
As a result, we often see the same picture: an excellent database in the head, but silence in real life. This applies to "90s kids" and today’s students alike.
At Together school, we see that this isn't just a local quirk. International students from a variety of countries—from Italy to Ukraine and Belarus—tell similar stories. For a long time, schools worldwide emphasized ticking the right boxes in tests. We were taught to perfectly insert much and many into exercises, but we lacked the practice to use language as a living tool.
As a result, we often see the same picture: an excellent database in the head, but silence in real life. This applies to "90s kids" and today’s students alike.
"Possessing knowledge about how a language functions—passive knowledge—is not the same as an active skill like speaking. Furthermore, many people fear being judged through the lens of mistakes they might make, or they wait for the moment when they will master the language perfectly," Michal Suchozebrski explains.
"In live speech, there is no 'backspace' button"
In the age of messengers, it has become harder for us to speak aloud. Michal Suchozebrski is convinced that we have become so accustomed to written communication that we’ve lost part of our skills:
— "In the past, we talked on the phone much more and had more spontaneous conversations in various social situations. Now, due to the limitations of this type of interaction, we have lost some of our linguistic competencies," the expert notes.
At the same time, the one who speaks less doesn't necessarily know the language less. Temperament often plays a bigger role:
— "There are people for whom speaking comes more easily than for others. But most often, these are people who are less sensitive to outside evaluation, more impulsive, and accustomed to speaking in various situations. Extroversion and introversion also play a role. The former will speak despite making mistakes. The latter only find their voice after gaining a certain level of self-confidence."
"Alcohol gives false confidence and the illusion of progress"
Many joke that they only start understanding a language "after a glass of wine." Michal Suchozebrski believes this hack isn't quite right for language learning:
— "Alcohol helps lower barriers and gives us false confidence; we might forget our fears. However, it significantly reduces our cognitive abilities and the precision of our speech, and it negatively affects memory and control."
Working in pairs usually helps get the quietest students talking, as the student doesn't have to perform in front of the whole group:
— "I always try to avoid putting pressure on 'quiet' students. I ask very simple questions and don't interrupt speech to correct mistakes. In this case, fluency is more important to me than accuracy, as correcting errors can easily break the rhythm."
"Don't think about mistakes! You won't sound like a native at the start of your journey"
To start talking, the expert recommended three hacks: speak aloud, don't force fluency at any cost, and listen.
— "Even for less than a minute, talk to yourself. Tell yourself about today’s plans, describe what you see—anything. Here, accuracy isn't the goal; the act of speaking is," Michal Suchozebrski advises. — "And don't force yourself to be fluent at any cost. Small steps are enough. Order a coffee in Polish, do your grocery shopping, and ask if an item is in stock. These are micro-successes that build self-confidence."
The expert also recommends "immersing" yourself in the language to get used to its sounds, rhythm, and melody:
— "You don't even need to understand what you're hearing. If possible, watch a movie in Polish with subtitles in your native language—you’ll quickly catch recurring phrases and remember them more easily."
Another piece of advice concerns people who are afraid of looking foolish:
— "Don't think about it. People will remember that you are trying, not that you are making mistakes. You won't sound like a native at the beginning. Remember: the one who keeps trying is training, and thanks to that, they develop much faster and make great progress."
Why theory without practice doesn't work: Together Speaking Clubs
Together school hosts free speaking clubs on Fridays. A neutral but potentially debatable topic is chosen for the meeting—whether sports are useful, games now vs. in our childhood, or whether a job should be a "dream job." Together students can bring their friends. The safe environment and moderation by a professional teacher help even the most reserved and shy students open up.
Here is what Together students say about the speaking clubs:
- Dima (Ukraine), IT specialist: "I work in IT and hardly speak at work—mostly messaging. The club is a good opportunity for me to overcome the fear of speaking."
- Yauhen (Belarus), preparing for an exam: "I’m taking the state B1 exam soon, so I practice speaking at the club to get more experience."
- Tanya (Belarus), beginner: "I’ve just started learning Polish at the A1 level. The speaking clubs have a very friendly atmosphere, so I go to learn the language faster. Plus, I’m really inspired by new people and the unexpected turns the discussions take."
- Oleksandr (Ukraine), retiree: "For me, it’s the best kind of leisure. Socializing, interesting topics, and a way to keep the brain sharp—a remedy for boredom and dementia, so to speak."
Summary: 6 hacks to start speaking
- Talk to yourself. Describe your day out loud (at least one minute a day). Perfect grammar isn't the point; getting words from your head into speech is.
- Take small steps in reality. Order a coffee, ask if a form is filled out correctly at the post office, ask for a bag at the store. These micro-victories build your confidence.
- Listen in the "background." Turn on podcasts or the radio. Get used to the rhythm and melody of Polish speech, even if you don't understand all the words yet.
- Movies + subtitles. Watch films in Polish with subtitles in your native language—authentic phrases and intonations will stick in your mind naturally.
- Don't force fluency. Speed comes with experience. Allow yourself to pause and search for words—it is an entirely normal part of learning.
- Find a safe environment. Speaking clubs or practicing in pairs is the fastest and most comfortable path from silence to living, free speech.